|
|
|
 
Interview With A UFO
The other night I was takin the trash out. I heard ol' Bessie, my cow
carryin on like there was a snake in her pin. I ran over and I said "Bessie,
you best hush up!" That's when I seen it. It was a round hunk of metal
flyin through the sky. At first I thought it was the top of my grain bin.
That's where I've been keepin my manure that I use on m'gardern. I thought
to myself "Oh Boy! Someone's done thrown a match in there. That's when this
little green light shot right down from it and burn up my okra patch. All
of a sudden where that little green light was, these creatures walked out.
I ran in and got my shotgun.
When I came back out, they said sumpthin like "Take me to your
leader." I told `em "I don't know much about takin' you to my leader but
they're fixin to meet their maker if they didn't get on out of here. Then
they made the ugliest fact at me and started talkin Japanese back and forth
at each other. All of a sudden I heard Bessie again, but when I looked over,
they zapped that poor ol' cow up to their hunk of metal spacecraft. I told
`em they better put her back or I was gonna call the UFO sightings hotline
on them like I did on all of their friends. I said " I know about all of
your tests you run on them poor animals like Bessie cause I've been
watchin' the X-Files on my big 10 inch black and white TV." Then they
started gibbering back and forth again and I'll be dang if they didn't zap
my old John Deere up on that ship too. That's when I got really mad. I
think they understood English too cause when I told em what I thought of
that spaceship, they started shootin' that laser gun at me. I said
"Yowweee!!!" Then I took off runnin' up the hill.
I guess they must've realized how big my shotgun was cause they got
back in their ship and took off for the sky. Everything's been pretty
normal since then, except my wife, Bell, got meaner `cause I make her pull
the plow now. I know them danged ol' aliens will be back cause I didn't
have any diesel in my tractor and they'll never be able to go anywhere with
it on empty. I'll be ready for `em.
ADDITIONAL FEATURED ESSAYS
Clinton
Scandal The evidence against President for sexual misconduct is very strong. There have been too many scandals that have
The Accuracy Of News Reports
We watch the news everyday, trusting broadcasters, that they are giving us the correct information. We are forced to vie
Corporate Control
It seems that there is an ever-increasing trend in our society. Big corporations are becoming more and more influential
Native People In Modern Society
On Thursday February 4, 1992 I went to Native People Center of Toronto. My assignment was to interview a Native person a
A Duke's Dominance Dooms Duchess
The poem "My Last Duchess" by Robert Browning, portrays women as property during the Renaissance period in Italy. This d
|
|
|
|
