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The Advantages Of Stupidity
Most people say being stupid will lead no where. They claim that it
is the worst possible condition in which to spend one's life, and if
possible, it should be completely avoided. They would even suggest if the
symptoms of stupidity are caught in the early stages, it could easily be
treated by a surgeon. The most effective method used to do this is the
chainsaw technique, later described in volume two. Yet, perhaps if people
took a closer look at some of the advantages stupidity had to offer, they
wouldn't have such a negative attitude toward it. After reading this
paper, one will understand the advantages of stupidity.
Admittedly, stupidity has certain disadvantages. Life isn't a
bowl of cherries. And being stupid doesn't make it any fruitier. Being
stupid can annoy even the most sensitive people. If one acts stupid, and
does it in the wrong crowd, like a group of adults, it will seem more
immature than funny. If one is forced to act stupid while dealing with
lower life forms, for example, high school teachers, one may encounter
barriers such as cruelty and insensitivity, with the utterance of
statements like, "Think with your head straight!" or, "You have a brain,
use it." Yet these are all true, there are still many advantages to
stupidity.
The first advantage is very easy to understand. Stupid people are
never asked to do a lot. Many have noticed that people tend to steer away
from someone they feel may be stupid. This is for a very good reason.
The stupidity which they posses makes a name for themselves, a name which
can be very difficult to shake. Possibly, it is a word which describes
the working habits of the person, such as "crappy". Yet, this creates a
positive situation for the stupid person. They will have a lot of free
time on their hands for more of lifes truly meaningful pleasures. Some of
these activities are combing facial hair, and counting the pixels on a
Sony TV. Now, there has been a rumour going around that suggests that
stupid people have low expectations. This is true. They are so stupid
that they don't realize great from O.K. They could have a Sanyo cordless
phone, but would probably choose instead a Pierre Cardin alarm clock
telephone, because it comes free with their sensamatic folding bed. And
someone with the "advantage" of stupidity might have a hard time doing
certain tasks, or setting things up. Yet this isn't all bad. For example,
if a stupid person leaves the chore, and comes back to it later, no one
will be able to understand it. Would they get fired from their job? No.
For the very simple reason that no one would understand their work except
for them. The job would have to be given back to the stupid person,
perhaps with a higher salary, or someone would do it for them, leaving
them with even more free time!
Free time is great for brainstorming (Admittedly this seems to be
a bad choice of words!). Yet the ideas stupid people create tend to be
original. For example, when was the last time someone stupid said
something, and made one think about it? It seems that people are always
talking about someone elses dumb idea. An example of such an idea would
be, "How many stories will that english teacher drop before having a
stroke?" This would suggest that stupid people may have the upper hand
when it comes to thinking up original ideas. In fact, the next time
someone wants an original idea for something, they should try talking to
their local, community stupid person. The reason for this is that while a
stupid person thinks with his head, he does not do so an organized manner.
This is why they have so much creativity. By thinking in this fashion,
their ideas have a natural tendency to flow more easily, without the
interruptions which occur from the editing of thoughts that logical people
would have normally. Thus if someone else should say to one, "That was a
stupid idea!" one should merely look that person straight in the eye, and
say, "Thank-you!" This also means that the claim, "Stupid minds think
alike." is not true. All stupid minds have different ideas, each idea
being original.
One of the final advantages of stupidity is that stupid people are
always remembered, even after graduation day. It has been noticed how a
quiet person is always hard to detect, and often remains anonymous. There
is a very good reason for this. The mind has a hard time keeping quiet
people in its memory track. But it is much easier and pleasing for the
mind to remember someone really stupid. Anyways, when was the last time
one laughed at an idiot in ones grade 12 class? When was the last time
one laughed at the little kid at the back of the room? The evidence here
proves how stupid people last longer in someones thoughts. The largest
advantage which arises from stupidity is that it takes up 2/3 of DNA
storage space, which is excellent for keeping stupidity in the family.
Thus, stupidity clearly has many advantages, as long as someone is
smart enough to use them! It is important to understand that stupid
people are like all other humans physically. Yet, because of the
difference between smart and stupid people, smart human beings should give
them some breathing space. Teachers can learn that someone graced with
stupidity, deserves more respect. After all, they are special.
Andrew Likakis Mr. Hussey Dec. 16, 1991
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