A Woman's Prayer

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doesn’t know where to shop.

Martha Stewart doesn’t live here.

If at first you don’t succeed, try doing it the way your wife told you.

When a child is born, so is a grandmother.

Never be so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.

Make yourself at home. Clean my kitchen.

Use it up. Wear it out. Make it do. Or do without.

Mirror, mirror on the wall, I am my mother after all.

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house.

You may smoke, just take your butt outside.

Forget love, I’d rather fall in chocolate.

Work like you don’t need the money. Dance as if no on were watching. Love like you’ve never been hurt.

Dance as if no on were watching. Sing as if no one were listening. And live every day as if it were your last.

I don’t repeat gossip so listen carefully.

Give a man an ...

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car.

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends.

Old age ain’t no place for sissies.

A mans gotta do what a mans gotta do. A woman must do what he can’t.

The phrase “working mother” is redundant.

Every time I close the door on reality I comes in through the windows.

35 is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.

I try to take on day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.

If you can’t be a good example, then you’ll just have to be a horrible warning.

When women are depressed, they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.

So many men. So few who can afford ...

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